And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
