i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
