I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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