apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
