I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
