escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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