Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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