I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
