I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
