paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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