Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it was like eating out sand paper
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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