They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
