; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
