yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
