Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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