I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
