No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
