: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
