I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
