singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
