So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
