Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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