if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
