and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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