I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You ruined the universe
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
