I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
