dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
