I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
