my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
