you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
