Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
tell me about the eggs
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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