quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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