watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
