just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
