Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
