I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
