I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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