i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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