maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
