like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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