I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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