Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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