She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
