just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
