I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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