I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Is Oprah even human
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
