i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
