I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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