Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
