Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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