I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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