its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
