ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
